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What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

11.06.2025 12:09

What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

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In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

If babies could write, what questions would they ask on Quora?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

What is one small habit that has transformed your life in unexpected ways?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

My religion teacher said that there are no atheists because in order to reject God, you must first have a concept of God, and if you have a concept of God, you are not an atheist. In what way is this true, if at all? Why?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

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Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

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Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Why is Matt Gaetz being investigated but not Sarah (Tim) McBride? Why do we only care about grooming when it's the Republicans doing it?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Why are black people harassed more by police officers?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

What was the worst decision you ever did?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

What do you think about Matt Gatz as an attorney general?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

TEXT:

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Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!